in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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