Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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