Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
