Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he puts the penis in happiness.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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