Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
