"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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