i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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