Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
