I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
