i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Actions speak louder than pants.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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