you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
