And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
