obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
