If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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