Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
