Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
