please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
