We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
