Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
