Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We had sex on a dog bed..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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