Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
