Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
