i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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