I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
