Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
