after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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