How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
