im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
