Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is my gift to your gina
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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