In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
