so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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