there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
