Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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