will power is for people who don't want to get laid
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
