Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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