what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
