now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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