I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
