i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
