Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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