Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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