I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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