he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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