Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
