I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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