Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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