ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
