i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
