Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
