OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
